Here's the networking move almost everyone makes wrong: they find someone who works at a company they want to work for, send them a LinkedIn connection request, and the moment it's accepted, the first message is some version of: *"Hi, I'm really interested in opportunities at your company. Could you refer me or pass along my resume?"*
That's not networking. That's cold-calling someone and asking them to do your job search for you within 30 seconds of meeting you.
I understand the impulse. You need a job. They're the connection. It feels logical. But it almost never works — and when it doesn't, you've also burned that contact before the relationship even started.
There's a better approach. It's called the A.I.R. method, and once you start using it, the difference in how people respond to you is immediate.
What A.I.R. stands for
A — Advice **I — Information** **R — Resources**
The idea is simple: instead of asking someone for a job, ask them for one of these three things. All three are low-stakes for the person you're asking. None of them require them to stick their neck out for a stranger. And all three, done right, open doors that a direct ask slams shut.
Advice
You're asking for someone's perspective based on their experience. Not their time, not their connections, not their professional reputation — their opinion. People like giving opinions. It's low risk, it's flattering, and it's genuinely useful to you.
What this looks like:
*"If you were in my position — 10 years in security operations, recently relocated to a new market — what would you prioritize to break into the local industry here?"*
*"You've been in this field a long time. What do companies in this space actually look for in a senior hire that job descriptions don't tell you?"*
Notice what you're not doing: you're not asking them to help you. You're asking them to share what they know. That's a very different conversation. And if your background is relevant, they'll often connect those dots themselves without you ever asking.
Information
You're asking to learn more about their world — how their team works, what problems they're solving, how your skills would fit into what they do day-to-day.
What this looks like:
*"How does your security team handle compliance across multiple sites? I've been thinking about whether the approach I used in campus environments translates to corporate settings."*
*"What does your team's relationship with the client side look like? I'm trying to understand whether contract management in this space works differently than what I've seen."*
This does two things at once. You get real intelligence about the role and the company. And you signal — without stating it — that you understand the work at a level worth talking to. A generic applicant doesn't ask questions like that. Someone who actually knows the field does.
Resources
You're asking them to point you somewhere useful — a person, a certification, an event, a professional group. The lowest-stakes ask of all three.
What this looks like:
*"Are there any local security industry events or professional groups in the DFW area you'd recommend? I'm newer to this market and trying to build connections."*
*"Is there a certification or credential that carries real weight in this space that you'd say is worth pursuing?"*
This one works especially well early in a relationship. You're not asking for anything that costs them anything. And if they give you a name or a resource, you now have a reason to follow back up — "I connected with the person you mentioned, and it was really helpful" — which deepens the relationship organically.
The thread that runs through all three
None of these asks put the other person in an uncomfortable position. They don't require a commitment. They don't create a professional risk for someone who barely knows you. They just open a conversation.
And here's what I've found: when you approach people this way, and when your background is genuinely relevant, they often volunteer the thing you actually needed without you ever asking for it. They say "you should apply for the role we're posting next month" or "let me introduce you to our hiring manager" — because they came to that conclusion themselves, not because you pushed them to it.
That's the goal. Not to extract a referral from a stranger, but to become someone worth referring.
How to apply this right now
Find one person on LinkedIn who works at a company you're targeting. Before you send a message, write down one Advice question, one Information question, and one Resources question that are specific to them and their role.
Then send one. Just one. The best one.
If they respond, you have a conversation. If they don't, you haven't burned anything — and you've practiced thinking about your outreach from their perspective, which will make every message you send after this one better.